Thursday, September 8, 2011

Canz

Do you like the letter Z? No, no. Wait. Do you LOVE the letter z? Were you Zorro for Halloween the past 10 years? Was Ziggy your favorite comic strip? Ever had a ZJ? What’s a ZJ? Well if you have to ask…

I had heard of this place before I came here. Somebody told me it was a classier Hooters with gourmet food. That was false. Well the Hooters part was right. These girls are chesty and were dressed scandalous.  No orange spandex  here. Cut denim shorts. Jorts. Daisy Dukes. Whatever you want to call them is fine with me and my penis. Which is throbbing so hard while I’m typing this it’s about to shoot off my body and land on the moon. Yes, it’s possible. It’s the tragic curse of all men in my family. The moon isn’t just made of cheese baby. It’s littered with the genitals of Brennan men. Don’t tell Joe!

So I like breasts. Pretty normal. I like women in jean shorts. Maybe a little chauvinistic but it’s less demeaning than orange spandex. Either way not unusual. How about that letter Z though? Well no. I don’t like the letter Z. It’s my least favorite letter. Letter Z. It’s the letter that tries to be cool. He’s like “Hey, put me on the end of words! Use me instead of the letter s! Pay attention to me! I’m worth so many points in Words with Friends! Don’t you play that! Everybody playz that bro! Do you like my high waters!? Yes they’re in again didn’t you see Ryan Gosling wear them?”

The menu, the website, the whole damn building is riddled with the letter Z. Like the moon with spent Brennan cocks. I get it. I’m young. I’m fun. I like to have a good time. Hell, I even think Gosling looks sweet in those high waters. When you jam me up with the letter Z though it makes me feel like some fat cats in suits are trying to “get me. “ I’m not more likely to order appetizerz than appetizers.  Same with sandwichez, sidez, burgerz. Wingz. What kind of asshole do you think I am?

This place has another theme though. It’s not just T and Z. They sell all their beers in cans. I’m not going to count the list. Let’s say 100 ok? It’s a lot. They even have talls boys. Including Keystone Light tall boys. Most excellent work Canz. Most excellent.

PROZ
T
Cans
Free popcorn

CONZ
Z
Crappy TGI Fridays food.
Terrible location.

CONLSUSION: The location alone means I’ll probably never return here again. Massive bonus points for beer and shorts selection. Maybe I can have a denim shorts and canned beer party. It’s a better idea than my Hunter S. Thompson theme party. Look out for the Facebook invite.

60/100



3 comments:

  1. The girls are smoking hot here. You need to give them more credit. They were all very very pretty. I don't remember the food but the next time you want to go, we're getting a limo.

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  2. Thank you Curvalicious Diva!

    ReplyDelete