Monday, March 5, 2012

Reunion Surf Bar

Hey broseph. I love weird places. Like a surf bar in the middle of Manhattan. Down a dark gnarly flight of stairs and the side door of an office building. I came here alone the first time and to be completely honest it was only because I was hoping it was a trap and somebody would be waiting to murder me. Lol dudes! But seriously it's how I end all of my bad days.

Guess what bro? I didn't get murdered. Sweet. It was a Tuesday and they had a taco deal. One decent size taco for $3. They had another deal too. $3 tequila shots. I went with a friend and we were hanging ten of our mouths? Was that forced? I don't know. Point is you come here on a Tuesday and surf's up, you're fucking drunk. 

They have two TV's. One with typical local sports and the other with a looped video of surf scenics and dancing island girls. I don't know. I don't pay attention to that sort of thing. What am I 13? Hiding the swimsuit edition under my mattress? I'm a grown man. If I'm going to scope out babes on a TV like a crusty perv it's going to be hardcore porn. And I'm going to masturbate with my hand into a Tommy Bahama shirt. Gahhhhhh. Mahalo broseph. I really needed that. 

Music. It seems like there would be surf music right? For the life of me I can't remember. I was having such a good time drinking waves of tequila and busting some taco grindage that I didn't even notice the music. Also, I have surf music permanently playing in my brain. Like a Tarantino movie. 

They have one of those giant fish bowls of alcohol here and I'm stoked to come back and get it. $45 and it says it's for 6 people. But I'm not afraid to take it alone. I'm like one of those big wave surfers. I've never seen a drink I'm going to back down from. Tie me to a jet ski, tow me out there and let the big dog eat. Or drink. 

On the menu there is a sandwich with fries in it. Which immediately reminds me of Primanti Brothers in the least surfer dudetastic city in America. Pittsburgh. Hopefully they remove it from the menu soon because all that Pittburghy stuff really harshes my buzz while I'm here. 

Some of the seating is communal tables which are fine. Whatever. They are just a little awkward if you start arm wrestling. Which I did. Over The Top style. Just once but it was intense. Initially I got shocked and was like "Whoa Big Kahuna ease up." So I gave a lot of ground up off the get go but I hung in there. Waiting for the right time to come back. Straining against the final push to put me down. Then I dug deep. Finding the Rainbow Warrior within. And I beat that small girl with authority. Boom! She was so strong dudes. But I'll take on all challengers. Provided they are female. And not a professional athlete or something. And under I don't know. 135 pounds. And not angry. Cause you know how people can have that angry strength? So I'll take on all female, non athlete, under 135lb challengers who are in a calm state.