Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Whiskey Brooklyn

It's a drinking blog so let's start with a drinking story. Or a drinking lesson. Story with a lesson. It's a parable baby. 

Recently I was at a wedding imbibing some mixed drinks when the bartender said to me "Please, tell me if it's too strong and I'll make you a new one." A greater insult I have not endured. Slap me with your little white glove and shoot me in the chest kind sir. Never question my strength or desire to drink my face off. I replied "What? No. Usually I'm what's too strong. So you tell me if I'm being too strong for you." The next drink I got from him was straight vodka. I ordered rum and cokes from a different bartender for the rest of the night, tail firmly between my legs and up my ass. Maybe one day I will have the bro power to chug that vodka in his face and yell "That all you got?!?!" Instead for now I'll have to learn from the experience. Be humble. Be appreciative. 

It was about a year ago that I went to Whiskey Brooklyn. It was cold and a little cloudy. A day similar to today. It was a little closer to Halloween though. Maybe the week before. I was alone. Early to meet a friend. I like going to bars first. Scope it out. Ask what the cheapest drink is. Try out a couple of seats. I was there alone for a few hours. Playing musical chairs by myself only takes about 20 minutes. It's not Madison Square Garden you know? There is a limited number of chairs to jump on and off. 

It's one of those "light or dark" beer places. I'm never impressed by bars that want to overwhelm you with choices. This is New York. You're never going to try all their beers. There's a million places to go. How many times do you go back to any one place? Unless you live right above it. I went with pitchers of the light while watching the Friday The 13th movies on the big television. It was great.  

Whiskey Brooklyn is dark. Low lights. This is what everyplace should be. If I wanted lots of light I'd go to my doctor's office to get drunk. He hates when I do that. 

They have hipster food. Fish tacos. Bacon stuff. Bacon is the sacred cow of the interwebs. I'm not a fan though. Go ahead and take away my internet. I don't dine on swine. 

There are games to play here. My mission was to get as drunk as possible while letting Jason Voorhees scare the shit out of me. I'd check out the games next time though. They are probably a lot of fun. 

Pickle backs. I don't know if this is where they originated. I just know this is where they are the most popular and what everybody talks about who has been here. They have spicy ones too. If you want to be manly get the spicy. Maybe you don't need it He-man. I just got punked by a wedding bartender though. Figure a month of spicy picklebacks is an adequate penance. 

I actually wrote notes for this bar after I left. The one thing I haven't covered is "great pisser." This must have been at the end of the night. Since I have absolutely no recollection of the bathroom. I'm very particular about public restrooms though so I'm sure it's a good spot. Let it fly. 

Locations. It's next to Brooklyn Brewery. 
Bacon. Not for me but it's for everybody else. Like normal relationships with opposite sex. 
Pickle backs. 
Good music. 
It's just cool. 

I'm sure it gets packed. 

CONCLUSIONS: This might be the best bar I've ever been to. And after being here awhile you can go next door to the Brewery. It's pathetic I've only done this once. I need to get out of Park Slope more often. 



  1. Been there it's awesome! I was there in the middle of a Monday so there wasn't anyone there and the Shuffle Board (?) was also fun! LOL

  2. I was there to witness the bartender question your strength. Don't feel bad you weren't the only one. Wedding was beyond epic though