Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Buffalo Wild Wings

Recently I visited some friends in the DC area. Our plan was to go to a bar on Sunday afternoon to watch the football games. Something new for the blog. I've written about good places, bad places and secret places. This would be the first time I've gone to a place knowing ahead of time that I was going to write about it. Real professional writer type shit huh? Leaving the comfort zone of NY but Washington DC is a major city. Full of places that are cool or weird that I've never been to before. Cool, weird, never been to? We ended up at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Buffalo Wild Wings is a chain sports bar with commercials that wildly exaggerate how good a time it is. The commercials are effective though since every time one opens there are long lines for weeks. One opened in my town back home before I moved. Now the town I'm from only has two bars. Both of which are terrifying places to be. So I was excited for Buffalo Wild Wings. I knew it wasn't going to be as good as the commercials but I expected it to be a good cheap sports bar with one giant projection screen. It wasn't so I moved an hour away.

Right off the bat you'll notice that screen from the commercials isn't there. Maybe it is at some Buffalo Wild Wings somewhere but there isn't one at any one I've been too. They'll have several large screens and plenty of TVs.  No giant projection screen though. The only place they'll have something like that is at Cowboy Stadium and if I ever end up there it's to burn the place down.

The prices aren't terrible. It's basically Applebee's with worse food and more televisions. Bars like that do have their place in the world. It's just a place where nothing else exists. Dust Bowl, Death Valley, Salt Flats, rural South. If I lived in a place like that I'd go there. However, I don't. So why would I? I'd rather go to a bar. Or drink in my apartment. Or if I have to go out I'd rather eat a Dave's Big and Juicy and crush a 30 rack in the parking lot of a Wendy's. Maybe shoot some fireworks. Make a drunk Facebook status about how unappreciated I am.

There really isn't much I can say about Buffalo Wild Wings that separates it from other similar chains. Their servers wear Buffalo Wild Wings sports jerseys. Raiders colors at the last one. Maybe for Al Davis. Did the Cryptkeeper eat at The Wings? If you told me regularly eating at Buffalo Wild Wings would allow me to live to be at least 82 years old I'd have to consider it. Ultimately I'd flip you the bird while eating a slice of pizza. "Fuhgeddaboudit." I'm ready to go now. Before Jose Reyes leaves the Mets and Arrested Development is ruined. I've already seen the movie where Jessica Biel gets naked. And what would that be another 100 years or something? I'm not doing the math. Fuck you, fuck Buffalo Wild Wings. Cryptkeeper you're cool. Fuck Al Davis.

Many options for wing flavors. Including Salt and Vinegar.
Light draft beers
Handicapped stall. It's like your own private bathroom.

I'm a snob.
The wings aren't really the secret to long living.
Jessica Biel was naked for 5 seconds and that movie was depressing as hell.

I think we can conclude I'm a bad person from this entry. In all seriousness though don't go here. If somebody has a gun to your head, well sometimes those things jam don't they? Take that risk. Unless you live in any of the above mentioned places. Then go, enjoy. Mangia. Try the honey BBQ. Honey BBQ is always good. Be well.


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